Journal of a Pregnant CrossFitter – First Trimester – I call this the “Snacks and Naps” Phase.

July 10: Week 5
Just found out – I’m PREGNANT.
Feeling a rush of emotion and excitement. We have been waiting for this. Can’t stop crying.

July 12: Week 5
I have made the decision not to compete at the Can West Games at the end of the month. For me, it’s not a difficult decision to make considering the risks… The Doctor has informed me that overheating, and extreme exertion during the first few weeks can heighten your risks for miscarriage. (So can reasons completely outside your control.) The body during this time, is trying to decide whether it’s going to keep this new baby. If your body temperature gets too high, it may view the mother’s health at risk, and opt to save me first. I don’t think I can hold myself back from pushing too hard, so I won’t compete. I also wouldn’t forgive myself if I did go, and something happened. This isn’t a difficult decision, just a sad one. I was really looking forward to it, but obviously the universe has a bigger plan for me right now.

July 19: Week 6
I feel strong and powerful for being able to create another human being. Yet weak in vanity as I battle to accept the physical changes my body is making. I’m used to being in control of my body, and now the changes just happen.
The changes to my body keeps me up at night. My poor little CrossFit boobs, they’re growing rapidly already and they’re so sore and tender – they throb. I can’t get comfortable at night. (I have discovered that wearing a bra to bed helps to alleviate discomfort. It kind of supports them a bit so there’s less contact and discomfort.) I get an unexpected amount of lower abdominal cramping and pain, again, this keeps me up at night. I read that cramping is normal, but it’s still an adjustment for me. I also wake up in a panic, thinking of everything I need to get organized before baby comes… finances, the gym, the baby’s room. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. I also wake up worrying about delivery and how that will go.
The best way I can describe how I’m feeling right now… is that my body is taking me on a wild ride. I signed up for the ride, I WANTED this, but I had no idea how quickly it would take me for such a wild loop. It’s not like my body wakes up in the morning and checks in with me, “are you ready for the following things to change today?” It’s a miracle that the body does it, naturally, biologically… but it’s still a hell of an adjustment.
I feel bloated, and all of my clothes are tight. I am tired, all the time. This is VERY unusual for me, to have to SLOW DOWN and not do as much during the day as I’m used to. I’m hungry, constantly. I snack on my way to more snacks.

My mental approach now is that I’m working towards enjoying the journey. I hope I can laugh at the emotional roller coasters, and learn to embrace the changes to my body.

I also recognize wholeheartedly that the measure of a man, during this time, is how he supports his wife. And I can tell you – I was lucky to find Jeremy. I feel supported, loved, and know that he’s excited.

August 7th: Week 9:
I’m on a walk with my dogs and I’m thinking – deeply – about how this amazing process will change how I view my place in the world and further define WHO I AM.

I’ve been careful throughout my life, to not let certain characteristics or traits become me, or define me. I’ve strived to be a complex person; I want things to be a PART of me, but not entirely define WHO I AM.
The same is true for athletics – I thought it was just a part of who I am.
It’s not.
Being an athlete has become WHO I am. I’ve loved being active as far back as I can remember, and I have always LOVED to compete. I can’t remember a time that I didn’t want to be the BEST I could be.
I recognize this now, more than ever, as I’m forced – for the first time in my life – to consider my body as not solely mine. It now defines a greater purpose; one that needs me to be careful and safe.
One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed is that of my mental rhetoric: I have trained my mind for years to be tough and resilient, to ignore pain and weakness. Being tired, or sore, were just weaknesses I disallowed to slow me down. In a workout, when I would reach the ‘mountain’ moment – the time at which I reach the peak of difficulty and have a choice to make: keep climbing or turn around – I would never choose to give up or slow down. It was never a mental choice to slow down, just my body or lungs, forcing me to.
But, now… it’s different.
Instead of pushing that voice out of my head, the one that says, “Slow down, it’s hot,” or “take a second to breathe.”
I now listen.
I didn’t want one thing to define me, but I now know that being a Mother will.

Changes I’ve made in my training, nutrition, and workdays:
Intensity and weight: I’ve dialed back my intensity. As mentioned above, this took some getting used to. It’s not my ‘normal’ to slow down.
I’ve found it easier to remove myself from my more competitive classes at the gym and focus on listening to my body: taking breaks when I feel out of breath. Slowing down on hotter days. Taking water breaks. (This one was a big one, I always bug people about this, haha.)
Loading: I’m not weightlifting as heavy as I usually do. This one is kind of naturally limiting itself – I feel kind of winded when I lift. Like I can’t catch my breath, and a little dizzy. Where I could touch and go heavy reps before, I’ll have to stop now.
I’m truly just listening to my body and my energy levels.
Nutrition:
Not as good as I’d hoped I would be at this point. Cravings are strong, hormones are raging. I always said, “I’m not going to be one of those people who lets herself eat whatever she wants when she’s pregnant.” Ha. I don’t think I’ve had this much estrogen flowing through my body, EVER. So the choices are more difficult when you’re so tired and hormonal.
Things I normally like to eat: vegetables, for example, makes me gag. Ha. I’m craving carbohydrates and eating a lot more sandwiches than I ever have. (Reflecting, this gets better for me in the next couple of weeks and levels off.)
Workdays:
It kind of just worked out that during this time of year, I have a little less coaching. So I was able to shorten my days on a couple of days per week, to not be at the gym for as long, or not go back for a double shift.
Trying to rest more and take naps.
There are seemingly so many Doctor’s appointments now, too. These take up time in my weeks. Doctor, ultrasound, blood work. All very exciting and I’m grateful to have a healthcare system like we do. But also tiring.


August 31: Week 12:

I feel I can articulate my last few weeks a bit clearer now. The first few weeks were intense for me. I would say the biggest obstacle I faced was being so overwhelmed by the physical changes to my body, due to the hormonal changes. Now I feel like I’m moving through a different stage;
ACCEPTANCE and COMFORT.
I have had to work to accept the changes but just like anything, practicing positivity and focusing on the good aspects of this pregnancy has been navigating me through a healthy mindset. For example, instead of focusing on the fact that my clothes are all getting tighter and I feel uncomfortable, I make the shift and focus on the fact that this is temporary and that I will be able to get back to how I felt before. I focus on the fact that I feel good enough everyday to get up and go to work, and that I’m not throwing up everyday, like some women during pregnancy!

I also feel better than I did before. Weeks 6-9 I would say, were when I felt most bloated, nauseous and tired.
People often ask me how I’ve been feeling: I feel good, most days!
I feel best when:
I workout early in the day… I’m too tired by the afternoon.
When I workout to be healthy, not to win or push myself to the brink.
I eat small amounts, consistently (annoyingly so, haha) but I usually have to eat every couple of hours – or I feel very nauseous.
I’ve cut my days down – or tried to – but we are going into a very busy September / year at the gym. Summer was a good time to be in my first trimester, as a few of our programs weren’t running. I embraced the opportunity to have shorter days and napped as often as I could.

September 4th: Week 13
I thought I could share with you some of the resources I’ve been diving in to.
Right now I’m focused on sleep training for baby (I would list sleep as one of my biggest priorities in my life) because I want to be able to set my baby up for success in its own life with regards to sleep. AND, because I want to sleep through the night as soon as I can, so I can tackle my busy days with baby.
(I plan on moving more towards learning about the process of delivery and breastfeeding next but I only have so much time in the day to read.)

Things I’m reading: (Thanks for these, Leah!)
“Bringing Up Bebe”: by Pamela Druckerman
An extremely insightful book about the wisdom of French parenting styles. I’ve LOVED the tone, positivity and information this book offers. It gets into everything from how societal viewpoints can change and alter the behaviour of both parent and child, to sleep patterns differing in North American cultures (vs) French.
“The Sleep Program: Volume 2”: by Dana Obleman
A very clear and concise book, filled with strategies on how best to get your child to sleep through the night.
Books and resources I’ve been shown:
“Real Food for Pregnancy” by Lily Nichols. Thanks for the suggestion, Jenn McMillan. (Formerly Jenn Webber ;))
If anyone has a spare copy and wants to lend it to me, I might get to it soon.

Gemma – Thanks for recommending:
“Emily Breeze” (Instagram) – this woman is an absolute inspiration. Three pregnancies, trained through all of them. I’m hopeful I can be my own version of this.

Jen – Thanks for recommending:
“BirthFit”: an online resource for programming through prenatal, and postnatal.

I’m sorry – I can’t remember, but a few people have recommended:
“Brianna Battles” (Instagram)
And
Pregnant Post-Partum Athlete

“Hungry North” (Michaela North) (Instagram)

Thanks to all the ladies in my gym community and life, and in the small Instagram world, for reaching out and supporting me. I feel SO LOVED.

Looking forward to sharing more – soon!

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